Matter of When

It is not a matter of if it is a matter of when. I thought of that phrase right after I received some bad news last May. No matter how much we warn others that it will happen they do not believe us until it happens. Then life moves on and they forget. Then we wonder did they learn the lesson? How many times does it have happen for them to stop the behavior or the cycle? Tears flow from the constant heartache of others actions and the consequences. Four times since January I have been reminded of that phrase - It is not a matter of if it is a matter of when. The cycle does not stop despite desires from others for it to end. My heart aches as I feel alone in my trials. Some are trials I have created, some others have created, and others are part of mortality. There is one trial that I think my heart will not be able to handle much longer. I have learned to turn to the Lord more and more. I have learned to read and pray more throughout the day and have more and more with each passing year. I see Heavenly Father's hand and his power in my life. I know he is real. I know he is more powerful than Satan. I have seen the works of Satan and I have seen the power of the Lord. I have faith that if it his will he will take away this trial. I believe he lifts me up during this trial and he guides me. I do feel alone. I am loved by family and friends. I am the person in room full of people who love me but I feel alone. Sometimes I wish I had trials that more people understood. Even through the tears and heartache I do feel blessed. Heavenly Father is there. When will desire to change or break the cycle become strong enough? It is better to have strong faith than lots of knowledge and little faith. Faith will break the destructive cycle. I pray and hope that others will rely more on faith and find the peace they desire.